No Pants was funny (really funny!) before it became a media circus and a parade. Now it's just a strange way for people to form impromptu, oddly serious social groups around an act of silliness, and for the herds of amateur photographers to continue their quest to document every single moment in existence, ever. I mean, it's still funny, but come on, we can do better. So when No Pants 2K8 was announced by email last month, Jen suggested we make it better and I immediately agreed to join her. As the press push continued, No Pants was mentioned on Going.com, Gothamist, and even on The Today Show. The event was becoming less improvisational, and our response was becoming more urgent! Jen corralled our most daring friends and formed Pro Pants 2K8.



We decided I would dress up as a preacher and share the good news about Pants to those who had not accepted Pants into their lives, while the rest of the group would hand out pamphlets and stickers and shout "amen" and "hallelujah". Here is the pamphlet Hari, Jenna, and I wrote up:

On the afternoon of No Pants 2K8, so many participants showed up that they were split into three groups and directed to ride three different subway lines. We followed our hearts and decided the group heading to the 6 train was most in need of hearing about how Pants could change their lives. We all piled on, and after a few stops, the car was filling up with bare legs, but it was also filling up with people. Indeed, by Union Square, the train was so crowded that we could hardly move around. Really, it was hard to even see that a lot of people were pants-less. We preached and passed out pamphlets on two cars, but sensed such humorlessness - even a bit of animosity - from the No Pants participants, that we decided to bail early.

So we rushed to the meet-up point in Union Square where about 900 pants-less heathens were waiting to be converted. I grabbed a stack of pamphlets and started passing them out, saying "Have you heard the good news?" A crowd formed around me and I shared my testimonial about how I had been lonely and unemployed when I did not have Pants in my life. And I preached that it was a cold, harsh world and that Pants were the only thing that could protect and comfort you in your greatest times of need.

I was really into my character, so I don't remember a lot at this point, but I do remember people chanting "Take them off!" and trying to escape the crowd, being pushed back in, and then someone grabbing me from behind and someone else ripping my pants off of me.

And while I played it off fine at the time, in retrospect, I'm actually pretty creeped out that people took it that far. Sure I could have broken character and told them to stop, sure I was asking for it in some sense, but really, no I wasn't. That's sexual assault.

A few of the pants-less played along and had great fun trying to argue the merits of pants with me. We even converted a new disciple - Brother Mike - who helped us preach the good news for the rest of the night. And throughout the evening, several participants came up and thanked us for adding to the event. One guy even wanted to know if we were another prank group and how he could sign up.

But most of the participants I engaged with were, it seemed, actually threatened on some level! They were taking their characters so seriously that they had formed allegiances they felt the need to vigorously defend. I am still trying to understand exactly what happened because I did not expect the level of negativity we encountered. (A little later we were booed out of a bar that happened to be where all the 21+ pants-less had congregated.)

I was mainly worried about how Charlie would regard our stunt. Would he be flattered that we took the time and energy to add something to his event, or would he see us as wresting away control? When we spoke afterwards, I don't think he was terribly pleased, but I also think he found it sort of funny. Beforehand, Charlie had admitted No Pants was more of a parade than a prank these days, so that assuaged most of my fear. Because, come on, I am not a dude who spoils your fun. I am a dude who tries to make things better.

Overall, Pro Pants 2K8 was a great success! We had a lot of fun, and I'm pleased to announce that a majority of those to whom we passed out pamphlets had accepted pants into their lives by the end of the night! Hallelujah!

With such a pervasive camera presence, photos of us were sure to surface on Flickr. Here are a few!

me preaching on the train
Hari and Jenna passing out pamphlets on the train
Jen on the platform amongst the pantsless hordes
me preaching at Union Square, surrounded by the crowd
Jen looking a little creeped out by the "Take Them Off!" chanters
Kristen and Jenna passing out pamphlets and stickers
Keith and Jen engaging with the pantsless
Jen and Hari fielding compliments, I would imagine